Sam: Mom, what does the letter "R" start with?
Sam: No but what does it start with "R"rrrrr..."R" (He has started sounding things out slowly for me when I don't seem to "understand" him. It's been a charming addition to an already lethal arsenal of unintentional sarcasm - but look at his parents)
Me: Sam...the letter "R" is a letter so it starts and ends with an "R"
Sam: UUUUGGGGHHHH. Mom, but WHAT does it start with.
Me: (thinking) What is on 2nd base.
But instead I say: Look is that Batman?
Me: Over there...you have to look real hard and not ask questions and maybe you'll see him.
Sam: Mom, What are pumpkins made out of?
Me: Pumpkins are made out of pumpkin.
Sam: NO MOM....what are they made out of?
Me: I'm not lying to you...they are made out of pumpkin. They grow in a garden.
Sam: They grow in a garden? But what are they MADE OUT OF???
Me: (exhale in exasperation) Um...Orange candy and happy thoughts.
Sam: (pause then sarcastically) Really mom? Really?
(Driving by a cemetery)
Sam: What's that mom?
Me: It's a cemetery.
Sam: What's a cemetery?
Me: Um...it's a...um...it's like a garden.
Sam: Like a garden? Like where pumpkins are?
Me: Yep, it's like a very old...very dead pumpkin garden...without any pumpkins.